ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The author is a twelve year old girl with terminal cancer, who the doctors say would have a much better chance of survival if she spent more time at chemotherapy, and much less time creating internet chain letters. She is also a big beat and flow of consciousness fan, so if you don't dig anything here, man, then a) it's allowed to be crap and b) you're just not a hip enough cat. In her spare time she likes to perform hip-replacement operations on cats, as well as playing with her pussy. Usually the flow of consciousness stuff will be much better than that, but in many cases, not. She looks remarkably like Monica Lewinsky, but in a good way; she has the personality of Colonel Oats from the film Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey, but again in a good way. When threatened, she will squawk loudly and protect the nest at all costs. She lies a bit and can often be heard exclaiming "Y'know I like this kid; he's got moxie."

A NAKED PICTURE OF THE SOUTH AFRICAN FOREIGN MINISTER