My toothpaste has a rather unpleasant aftertaste of raw meat. Pork I think. They've obviously thought about it: people will have the toilet nearby. I have to be honest though, I don't much care for toothpaste making me vomit.
Brush brush brush, minty minty minty, scrub away all the old stuff. Lovely. Proper toothpaste. Spit, rinse, raw meat aftertaste. Not so lovely. Vomit vomit vomit. Taste of vomit and raw meat in my mouth. Pull off the stringy bits of spit and throw them in the toilet. Brush teeth to get rid of the nasty taste. Fuck. (Exclamation, not action. 'Taint fair to fuck with vomit and raw meat on your breath, not face to face anyway). Minty for now, but raw meat aftertaste to come, vomit to come, stringy spit to come, raw meat and vomit taste left in my mouth. Fuck.
I don't know where to go from here. I can't just say "Boy, wouldn't it be awful in an hilarious an hotel way if I only had orange juice in the house to take away the taste. Cos, y'know, orange juice and toothpaste taste bad together. Boy, that's some funny shit, toothpaste and orange juice, funny. Comedy. Funnier still if you explain that it's all to do with sodium lauryl sulphate creating unnecessary foam and fucking with taste buds. Conspiracy, maaaaaaan: they put unnecessary foam to trick us into thinking it's clean, and all it does is make orange juice taste baaaaaaad. Damn government." That'd suck.
I don't much care how the raw meat taste got there. If I get sick and shit water, then I go complainy complainy and get free toothpaste, money, and promises that they'll avoid getting raw meat in toothpaste again. If I don't shit water, then I just don't buy the toothpaste again. I suppose I could go complainy complainy for it making me throw up, but is it really worth it? "Your toothpaste has an aftertaste of raw meat and it made me throw up." "Sorry. Have some free toothpaste and pornography." "I don't want your toothpaste, and that's not pornography, that's a newspaper." "Curses." Not worth the hassle. Read it online.
I don't suppose I should lie and create some vicious circle of brushing, aftertaste, only way to get rid of the aftertaste is to brush some more. It'd be a lie. Lies aren't good. I didn't have any other toothpaste around, but after the first mistake, all I did was just rinse and rinse and rinse.
So. Toothpaste tastes of raw meat. Throw up. Rinse. Get new toothpaste.