CONTENTS

Sorted By Date. Would You Rather View Contents Sorted By Name?
Newest at the top, shittest at the bottom.

  1. The Ballad Of Paco's Fire Truck (Ballad Not Included)
  3. Cluch Almost Got A Quarter of The Way Through
  5. The Lead Deal
  6. Tra-La-Gedy-La
  7. The Budd Dwyer Mouthwash And Other Venal Sins
  8. I Think It Was
  9. Ook
  10. Mite
  11. Boondock Salad
  12. Chien Quay Shack
  13. Mr. Coprolophagus
  14. Kill Few
  15. Some Shit About Falling On To A Radiator
  16. Dear Hilda
  17. Swap It For A Tiny
  18. Almo Street
  19. Paralysis D'Accord Rally
  20. The Ascent Of Menses
  21. Ageing Bull
  22. Licking The Back Of Your Neck
  23. Conclusive Proof That Writing What You Know Makes For Boredom
  24. Ig2
  25. Lagniappe Sauregurkenzeit
  26. Peaching To The Convicted
  27. Tuna
  28. Imperfect
  29. The Parable Of Jesus And The Fishy Curtains Tit Fight
  30. Soup Horny Solly
  31. Osteobreakology
  32. Choosing
  33. Missive From The Underground
  34. Cuckwhorefuntbitches
  35. He Ain't No Theodolite Baby
  36. If You're Going To Be Silly You Can Go Outside
  37. Conception
  38. Lumpy Joe
  39. Das Ist Gut, Istn't It? Istn't
  40. It's Nooo Problem
  41. I Have Eaten My Elbow But Only Because You Asked Me To
  42. You Can't Keep A Good Man Down Unless You Keep Kicking Him In The Bollocks Until He's Dead And Aching
  43. Dogabortion
  44. Jimmy Hoffa's Buried In My Prostate But The Eggs Aren't Over Easy
  45. Dear Mummy
  46. How To Lose Friends And Compound People's Grief
  47. Praise Where Praise Is Due
  48. Proud To Be Continent
  49. How To Make Friends And Influence People
  50. Mirrored Windows
  51. Balancing A Bottle On My Heel
  52. Synopsis
  53. Golferk Yourself
  54. The Death Of Baseball
  55. Tip Over
  56. If In Doubt Sit On Monty
  57. Rivers The Thief
  58. Huk
  59. Master Rhino's Cold Dust
  60. Mossul Not Mostul
  61. Erotica
  62. Off To The Side A Bit
  63. "There's No Such Thing As Paranoia." - FX Leach
  64. Sneeze Damnit, I'm Looking Like An Arse
  65. Evolution Is Boring Me And Fascism And Liberalism Are Hand In Hand - Go Figure
  66. Face From The Ancient Gallery (Ta Muchly Jim)
  67. How Do You Like Them Appalacians?
  68. I'm Not Using The Toe Ember Bit After All
  69. A Bit Of Sanctuary Would Be Nice
  70. Pasta And Pesto
  71. 10 Print You, 20 Goto 10
  72. Thanks For The Postcard
  73. Aim For The Stars
  74. Quixotic Cruelty
  75. I'll Wait If It's Tonight
  76. Jonas 'Culpability' Brown
  77. Wish It All Away
  78. Bar The Occasional Krill
  79. Five Children And A Child Called It
  80. A Small Tomato Juice And A Large Vodka Please
  81. Lazy Summer
  82. [OE (Anglian) all, (WSax eall); Ger all] [OE yfel; Du euvel; Ger übel; cf ill]
  83. Like I Care
  84. Pope, Lobster: Bad Combination
  85. Dancing The Tintin
  86. Playing With My Penis
  87. Fuck Off Dilettantes; I Shun You
  88. Cleaning Out The Pipes
  89. Bobby Kennedy's Incense Cone Tango
  90. Wanky Wank Thing. Don't Delete, Fuckfork
  91. It's Not Supposed To Be Sexual, Really It Isn't
  92. Meaning Of Life: Be
  93. The Menstruation Proclamation
  94. Cough
  95. Inspired By Kittens
  96. Heyulp The Shiny Baby
  97. Take Two Of These
  98. Steve Loves Me
  99. A Vision
  100. Quick Note
  101. Criminal
  102. How Long Does It Take To Grow A Beard?
  103. Boy Was Her Face Red
  104. I'm Worried That The Geniuses Are In Confederacy
  105. These People
  106. For In This World I'm Bound To Ramble
  107. It's Like The Amputation But Less Abrupt
  108. Now Entering My Road Period
  109. United We Stand, Splattered We Drip Down The Walls
  110. Wifey Wifey
  111. Adapt And Die
  112. Some Notice Thing
  113. Another Thrilling Obituary
  114. Have A Dino-mite Day
  115. Don't Touch me
  116. Wirrasthru
  117. Plea
  118. Scab
  119. Fisticuffs
  120. Seeing It Out
  121. Sublime Vicissitude
  122. Strobe
  123. Dead Orange Peel
  124. It's A Mossy Chine, How Much More Freudian Do You Want?
  125. A Van, A Man, A Canam: Anava!
  126. Orgasms Discussed Dully
  127. It's All The Same
  128. How Stephane Henchoz Got His Cheeks
  129. Sleep Shit
  130. Mains, Manes, May'nes
  131. The Dice Slowly, The Desire
  132. Seeds
  133. Fort Omebe, Oregon
  134. How To Evolve
  135. Stick That In Your Locum And Smoke It
  136. Save My Dead Spy
  137. Scrotal Verrucas (Been Kicked Too Many Times)
  138. Monkey Disease Parahraphs
  139. Jesus' 2002 Vision
  140. What's Your Fucking Problem? Can't Maintain An Erection?
  141. Two Claspy Clasp Things And A Necklace Bone
  142. Children's Story
  143. Demilogue
  144. Anal Nepotism Vol. 9
  145. Let's Bomb Mexico
  146. Serendipity McLeish: Window Diver
  147. Mith, Mith, I Thmathed The Moth Mythth, Mith
  148. Unsubscribe
  149. Self-centred Bitch
  150. Manusc Hermiermies
  151. A La Recherche Du Giant Human Nose Clocks
  152. I'm Sick Of Cyclical, But Short Of Getting One Leg Longer Than The Other, There's Nothing I Can Do About It
  153. I Wish To Register A Complaint [Applause And Polite Laughter]
  154. Is It Something Like This?
  155. Did I Mention Moby Is Welsh?
  156. The Threat Of Childhood or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Womb
  157. It's A Cheese Thing, You Wouldn't Understand
  158. Exciting New Sounds In The Folk Tradition
  159. Twelce
  160. That Woodpecker Snot Thing With The Trees And Wisconsin
  161. 532 Sex-Starved Retards Can't Be Wrong
  162. My Daughter Is A Typo
  163. ¡Viva Las Marcas Al Revés Del Exlamation!
  164. If I Had My Way I'd Be Frank Sinatra
  165. Discourse Twixt Elephant And Man
  166. XXX Celebrity Bankjob
  167. The Colon Of Money
  168. Personality Rating 2/5
  169. Burning Siggy's Keys
  170. Do Come Over
  171. Nothing To Get Hung About
  172. The Online Biscuit Game
  173. Blinding Fat, Emotional Babies And Diseased Rabbit Ears
  174. Colour Me Esoteric
  175. Not Emailing - Tension - Masturbation - Porn On My Mind - I Write What I Think - It's Your Fault - Oooh 100
  176. Wheelchairs And Bulging Sacks
  177. Guber Naculum Jr And Dickchain
  178. No Porn Please, We're About To Be Paid
  179. My Mother
  180. Give Me A Handjob And I'll Answer The Door
  181. Seven Facts About M.I.T. That You Probably Didn't Know Because I Just Made Them Up
  182. Nasty Shaving Accident
  183. Partay Games
  184. Our Seasonal Range
  185. Fuck Art, Give Us Sex
  186. (vNL) night Renal
  187. Death Explains Absence Again
  188. The United States Of Punmerica
  189. Destined For Grapeness
  190. 0
  191. Facile Live (Anglicanisation)
  192. Mocking A(nother) Serious Disease
  193. What Is With... Nah, Too Personal
  194. Child, Parent, Robin And Other Hoods
  195. Arrrrfrica
  196. Scout Daze
  197. Cor
  198. Burn Motherfucker, Burn
  199. Quit While You're Sweaty
  200. Turtle Soup
  201. Middle
  202. A Delayed Attempt To Have A Personality
  203. LA Needs You
  204. Quidquid Luce Fuit, Tenebris Agit
  205. In Memoriam: The Competitive Fat Man
  206. Flipside
  207. Fw:
  208. Hunker Down Pillows
  209. Postcard From The Edge
  210. This Crazy Planet We Call Bob
  211. Oh, The Agony Of It All
  212. _
  213. Diamonds Are Forever
  214. The Adventures Of Cuntly The Goldfish
  215. Jesus Hates Liars
  216. Flowers And Poems
  217. Hello Wall
  218. Pastor Of Muppets
  219. Death 2: Back From The Dead
  220. Cond-ISH-iner
  221. Love
  222. It's A Mr. Death Or Something. He's Come About The Reaping
  223. Untitled Until Someone Comes Up With A Funny Bouncy Castle Porno Name
  224. The Cosmic Significance Of The CIA
  225. You Can't Spell Insect Without Using The Same Letters As Incest
  226. Proustian Diatribe
  227. Primary School Teachers On Coke
  228. Contains Swearing
  229. Try Not To Cry On Your Keyboard
  230. Not One Joke About STDs
  231. If You Sniff A Woman's Pantyliners While She's Wearing Them, She's Liable To Ask Questions
  232. El Monopolytmia De Communista
  233. Space Filler
  234. Buenos Dias Albert Quirky
  235. Stuff About Stuff
  236. So So Cold
  237. Personal Correspondence
  238. Warm Puddles Of Love
  239. Yes I Fucking Can
  240. You Can't Say That
  241. Nuclear Bunkers And Scuba Porn
  242. Skin Flick
  243. The Story Of My Experiments With Grass. Addendum
  244. The Story of My Experiments With Grass
  245. Ha Penis
  246. Boredom With A Hint Of Tree
  247. Cancer Prankster
  248. Aw Shit, Not This Again
  249. Public Transport
  250. Early Morning Heart Attacks
  251. I'm Not Well
  252. Press Release
  253. Mein SCUM Manifesto (Notes)
  254. Creamy Hand
  255. Is Death All It's Cracked Up To Be?
  256. Biting Political Satire
  257. Poetry (I Must Be Gay) And Cults
  258. Ode To A Retarded Retard
  259. Lemon Aromatherapy Candles
  260. Wanker
  261. Love And Death Combined
  262. House Dust Is 79% Scratchings From People's Arses
  263. How Communism Can Save America plc
  264. Gambling Is For Fools
  265. CIA, Racism/Dissin Rappers, CIA
  266. Finally We Get To The CIA Stuff
  267. Sucky Again. I Was Constrained
  268. Gun Culture
  269. Not Particularly Good, But It's About Nudity
  270. Illegal Dutch Porn... Or Is It?
  271. My Bad Mood And Anal Fixation
  272. Bond, James Bond
  273. How I Filled The Hole In My Life Left By My Dead Dog
  274. Mutation Or Metamorphosis