CONTENTS

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  1. 0-9
  2. _
  3. 0
  4. 10 Print You, 20 Goto 10
  5. 532 Sex-Starved Retards Can't Be Wrong
  6. A
  7. Adapt And Die
  8. The Adventures Of Cuntly The Goldfish
  9. Ageing Bull
  10. Aim For The Stars
  11. A La Recherche Du Giant Human Nose Clocks
  12. Almo Street
  13. Anal Nepotism Vol. 9
  14. Another Thrilling Obituary
  15. Arrrrfrica
  16. The Ascent Of Menses
  17. A Van, A Man, A Canam: Anava!
  18. Aw Shit, Not This Again
  19. B
  20. Balancing A Bottle On My Heel
  21. The Ballad Of Paco's Fire Truck (Ballad Not Included)
  22. Bar The Occasional Krill
  23. Biting Political Satire
  24. A Bit Of Sanctuary Would Be Nice
  25. Blinding Fat, Emotional Babies And Diseased Rabbit Ears
  26. Bobby Kennedy's Incense Cone Tango
  27. Bond, James Bond
  28. Boondock Salad
  29. Boredom With A Hint Of Tree
  30. Boy Was Her Face Red
  31. The Budd Dwyer Mouthwash And Other Venal Sins
  32. Buenos Dias Albert Quirky
  33. Burning Siggy's Keys
  34. Burn Motherfucker, Burn
  35. C
  36. Cancer Prankster
  37. Chien Quay Shack
  38. Child, Parent, Robin And Other Hoods
  39. Children's Story
  40. Choosing
  41. CIA, Racism/Dissin Rappers, CIA
  42. Cleaning Out The Pipes
  43. Cluch Almost Got A Quarter of The Way Through
  44. The Colon Of Money
  45. Colour Me Esoteric
  46. Conception
  47. Conclusive Proof That Writing What You Know Makes For Boredom
  48. Cond-ISH-iner
  49. Contains Swearing
  50. Cor
  51. The Cosmic Significance Of The CIA
  52. Cough
  53. Creamy Hand
  54. Criminal
  55. Cuckwhorefuntbitches
  56. D
  57. Dancing The Tintin
  58. Das Ist Gut, Istn't It? Istn't
  59. Dead Orange Peel
  60. Dear Hilda
  61. Dear Mummy
  62. Death 2: Back From The Dead
  63. Death Explains Absence Again
  64. The Death Of Baseball
  65. A Delayed Attempt To Have A Personality
  66. Demilogue
  67. Destined For Grapeness
  68. Diamonds Are Forever
  69. The Dice Slowly, The Desire
  70. Did I Mention Moby Is Welsh?
  71. Discourse Twixt Elephant And Man
  72. Do Come Over
  73. Dogabortion
  74. Don't Touch me
  75. E
  76. Early Morning Heart Attacks
  77. El Monopolytmia De Communista
  78. Erotica
  79. Evolution Is Boring Me And Fascism And Liberalism Are Hand In Hand - Go Figure
  80. Exciting New Sounds In The Folk Tradition
  81. F
  82. Face From The Ancient Gallery (Ta Muchly Jim)
  83. Facile Live (Anglicanisation)
  84. Finally We Get To The CIA Stuff
  85. Fisticuffs
  86. Five Children And A Child Called It
  87. Flowers And Poems
  88. Flipside
  89. For In This World I'm Bound To Ramble
  90. Fort Omebe, Oregon
  91. Fuck Art, Give Us Sex
  92. Fuck Off Dilettantes; I Shun You
  93. Fw:
  94. G
  95. Gambling Is For Fools
  96. Give Me A Handjob And I'll Answer The Door
  97. Golferk Yourself
  98. Guber Naculum Jr And Dickchain
  99. Gun Culture
  100. H
  101. Ha Penis
  102. Have A Dino-mite Day
  103. He Ain't No Theodolite Baby
  104. Hello Wall
  105. Heyulp The Shiny Baby
  106. House Dust Is 79% Scratchings From People's Arses
  107. How Communism Can Save America plc
  108. How Do You Like Them Appalacians?
  109. How I Filled The Hole In My Life Left By My Dead Dog
  110. How Long Does It Take To Grow A Beard?
  111. How Stephane Henchoz Got His Cheeks
  112. How To Evolve
  113. How To Lose Friends And Compound People's Grief
  114. How To Make Friends And Influence People
  115. Huk
  116. Hunker Down Pillows
  117. I
  118. If I Had My Way I'd Be Frank Sinatra
  119. If In Doubt Sit On Monty
  120. If You're Going To Be Silly You Can Go Outside
  121. If You Sniff A Woman's Pantyliners While She's Wearing Them, She's Liable To Ask Questions
  122. Ig2
  123. I Have Eaten My Elbow But Only Because You Asked Me To
  124. Illegal Dutch Porn... Or Is It?
  125. I'll Wait If It's Tonight
  126. I'm Not Using The Toe Ember Bit After All
  127. I'm Not Well
  128. Imperfect
  129. I'm Sick Of Cyclical, But Short Of Getting One Leg Longer Than The Other, There's Nothing I Can Do About It
  130. I'm Worried That The Geniuses Are In Confederacy
  131. In Memoriam: The Competitive Fat Man
  132. Inspired By Kittens
  133. Is Death All It's Cracked Up To Be?
  134. Is It Something Like This?
  135. I Think It Was
  136. It's A Cheese Thing, You Wouldn't Understand
  137. It's All The Same
  138. It's A Mossy Chine, How Much More Freudian Do You Want?
  139. It's A Mr. Death Or Something. He's Come About The Reaping
  140. It's Like The Amputation But Less Abrupt
  141. It's Nooo Problem
  142. It's Not Supposed To Be Sexual, Really It Isn't
  143. I Wish To Register A Complaint [Applause And Polite Laughter]
  144. J
  145. Jesus' 2002 Vision
  146. Jesus Hates Liars
  147. Jimmy Hoffa's Buried In My Prostate But The Eggs Aren't Over Easy
  148. Jonas 'Culpability' Brown
  149. K
  150. Kill Few
  151. L
  152. Lagniappe Sauregurkenzeit
  153. LA Needs You
  154. Lazy Summer
  155. The Lead Deal
  156. Lemon Aromatherapy Candles
  157. Let's Bomb Mexico
  158. Licking The Back Of Your Neck
  159. Like I Care
  160. Love
  161. Love And Death Combined
  162. Lumpy Joe
  163. M
  164. Mains, Manes, May'nes
  165. Manusc Hermiermies
  166. Master Rhino's Cold Dust
  167. Meaning Of Life: Be
  168. Mein SCUM Manifesto (Notes)
  169. The Menstruation Proclamation
  170. Middle
  171. Mirrored Windows
  172. Missive From The Underground
  173. Mite
  174. Mith, Mith, I Thmathed The Moth Mythth, Mith
  175. Mocking A(nother) Serious Disease
  176. Monkey Disease Parahraphs
  177. Mossul Not Mostul
  178. Mr. Coprolophagus
  179. Mutation Or Metamorphosis
  180. My Bad Mood And Anal Fixation
  181. My Daughter Is A Typo
  182. My Mother
  183. N
  184. Nasty Shaving Accident
  185. No Porn Please, We're About To Be Paid
  186. Not Emailing - Tension - Masturbation - Porn On My Mind - I Write What I Think - It's Your Fault - Oooh 100
  187. Nothing To Get Hung About
  188. Not One Joke About STDs
  189. Not Particularly Good, But It's About Nudity
  190. Now Entering My Road Period
  191. Nuclear Bunkers And Scuba Porn
  192. O
  193. Ode To A Retarded Retard
  194. [OE (Anglian) all, (WSax eall); Ger all] [OE yfel; Du euvel; Ger übel; cf ill]
  195. Off To The Side A Bit
  196. Oh, The Agony Of It All
  197. The Online Biscuit Game
  198. Ook
  199. Orgasms Discussed Dully
  200. Osteobreakology
  201. Our Seasonal Range
  202. P
  203. The Parable Of Jesus And The Fishy Curtains Tit Fight
  204. Paralysis D'Accord Rally
  205. Partay Games
  206. Pasta And Pesto
  207. Pastor Of Muppets
  208. Peaching To The Convicted
  209. Personal Correspondence
  210. Personality Rating 2/5
  211. Playing With My Penis
  212. Plea
  213. Poetry (I Must Be Gay) And Cults
  214. Pope, Lobster: Bad Combination
  215. Postcard From The Edge
  216. Praise Where Praise Is Due
  217. Press Release
  218. Primary School Teachers On Coke
  219. Proud To Be Continent
  220. Proustian Diatribe
  221. Public Transport
  222. Q
  223. Quick Note
  224. Quidquid Luce Fuit, Tenebris Agit
  225. Quit While You're Sweaty
  226. Quixotic Cruelty
  227. R
  228. Rivers The Thief
  229. S
  230. Save My Dead Spy
  231. Scab
  232. Scout Daze
  233. Scrotal Verrucas (Been Kicked Too Many Times)
  234. Seeds
  235. Seeing It Out
  236. Self-centred Bitch
  237. Serendipity McLeish: Window Diver
  238. Seven Facts About M.I.T. That You Probably Didn't Know Because I Just Made Them Up
  239. Skin Flick
  240. Sleep Shit
  241. A Small Tomato Juice And A Large Vodka Please
  242. Sneeze Damnit, I'm Looking Like An Arse
  243. Some Notice Thing
  244. Some Shit About Falling On To A Radiator
  245. So So Cold
  246. Soup Horny Solly
  247. Space Filler
  248. Steve Loves Me
  249. Stick That In Your Locum And Smoke It
  250. The Story of My Experiments With Grass
  251. The Story Of My Experiments With Grass. Addendum
  252. Strobe
  253. Stuff About Stuff
  254. Sublime Vicissitude
  255. Sucky Again. I Was Constrained
  256. Swap It For A Tiny
  257. Synopsis
  258. T
  259. Take Two Of These
  260. Thanks For The Postcard
  261. That Woodpecker Snot Thing With The Trees And Wisconsin
  262. "There's No Such Thing As Paranoia." - FX Leach
  263. These People
  264. This Crazy Planet We Call Bob
  265. The Threat Of Childhood or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Womb
  266. Tip Over
  267. Tra-La-Gedy-La
  268. Try Not To Cry On Your Keyboard
  269. Tuna
  270. Turtle Soup
  271. Twelce
  272. Two Claspy Clasp Things And A Necklace Bone
  273. U
  274. The United States Of Punmerica
  275. United We Stand, Splattered We Drip Down The Walls
  276. Unsubscribe
  277. Untitled Until Someone Comes Up With A Funny Bouncy Castle Porno Name
  278. V
  279. A Vision
  280. ¡Viva Las Marcas Al Revés Del Exlamation!
  281. (vNL) night Renal
  282. W
  283. Wanker
  284. Wanky Wank Thing. Don't Delete, Fuckfork
  285. Warm Puddles Of Love
  286. What Is With... Nah, Too Personal
  287. What's Your Fucking Problem? Can't Maintain An Erection?
  288. Wheelchairs And Bulging Sacks
  289. Wifey Wifey
  290. Wirrasthru
  291. Wish It All Away
  292. X
  293. XXX Celebrity Bankjob
  294. Y
  295. Yes I Fucking Can
  296. You Can't Keep A Good Man Down Unless You Keep Kicking Him In The Bollocks Until He's Dead And Aching
  297. You Can't Say That
  298. You Can't Spell Insect Without Using The Same Letters As Incest
  299. Z