CONTENTS

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  1. 0-9
  2. _
  3. 0
  4. 10 Print You, 20 Goto 10
  5. 532 Sex-Starved Retards Can't Be Wrong
  6. A
  7. Adapt And Die
  8. The Adventures Of Cuntly The Goldfish
  9. Ageing Bull
  10. Aim For The Stars
  11. A La Recherche Du Giant Human Nose Clocks
  12. Almo Street
  13. Anal Nepotism Vol. 9
  14. Another Thrilling Obituary
  15. Arrrrfrica
  16. The Ascent Of Menses
  17. A Van, A Man, A Canam: Anava!
  18. Aw Shit, Not This Again
  19. B
  20. Balancing A Bottle On My Heel
  21. The Ballad Of Paco's Fire Truck (Ballad Not Included)
  23. Bar The Occasional Krill
  24. Biting Political Satire
  25. A Bit Of Sanctuary Would Be Nice
  26. Blinding Fat, Emotional Babies And Diseased Rabbit Ears
  27. Bobby Kennedy's Incense Cone Tango
  28. Bond, James Bond
  29. Boondock Salad
  30. Boredom With A Hint Of Tree
  31. Boy Was Her Face Red
  32. The Budd Dwyer Mouthwash And Other Venal Sins
  33. Buenos Dias Albert Quirky
  34. Burning Siggy's Keys
  35. Burn Motherfucker, Burn
  36. C
  37. Cancer Prankster
  38. Chien Quay Shack
  39. Child, Parent, Robin And Other Hoods
  40. Children's Story
  41. Choosing
  42. CIA, Racism/Dissin Rappers, CIA
  43. Cleaning Out The Pipes
  44. Cluch Almost Got A Quarter of The Way Through
  46. The Colon Of Money
  47. Colour Me Esoteric
  48. Conception
  49. Conclusive Proof That Writing What You Know Makes For Boredom
  50. Cond-ISH-iner
  51. Contains Swearing
  52. Cor
  53. The Cosmic Significance Of The CIA
  54. Cough
  55. Creamy Hand
  56. Criminal
  57. Cuckwhorefuntbitches
  58. D
  59. Dancing The Tintin
  60. Das Ist Gut, Istn't It? Istn't
  61. Dead Orange Peel
  62. Dear Hilda
  63. Dear Mummy
  64. Death 2: Back From The Dead
  65. Death Explains Absence Again
  66. The Death Of Baseball
  67. A Delayed Attempt To Have A Personality
  68. Demilogue
  69. Destined For Grapeness
  70. Diamonds Are Forever
  71. The Dice Slowly, The Desire
  72. Did I Mention Moby Is Welsh?
  73. Discourse Twixt Elephant And Man
  74. Do Come Over
  75. Dogabortion
  76. Don't Touch me
  77. E
  78. Early Morning Heart Attacks
  79. El Monopolytmia De Communista
  80. Erotica
  81. Evolution Is Boring Me And Fascism And Liberalism Are Hand In Hand - Go Figure
  82. Exciting New Sounds In The Folk Tradition
  83. F
  84. Face From The Ancient Gallery (Ta Muchly Jim)
  85. Facile Live (Anglicanisation)
  86. Finally We Get To The CIA Stuff
  87. Fisticuffs
  88. Five Children And A Child Called It
  89. Flowers And Poems
  90. Flipside
  91. For In This World I'm Bound To Ramble
  92. Fort Omebe, Oregon
  93. Fuck Art, Give Us Sex
  94. Fuck Off Dilettantes; I Shun You
  95. Fw:
  96. G
  97. Gambling Is For Fools
  98. Give Me A Handjob And I'll Answer The Door
  99. Golferk Yourself
  100. Guber Naculum Jr And Dickchain
  101. Gun Culture
  102. H
  103. Ha Penis
  104. Have A Dino-mite Day
  105. He Ain't No Theodolite Baby
  106. Hello Wall
  107. Heyulp The Shiny Baby
  108. House Dust Is 79% Scratchings From People's Arses
  109. How Communism Can Save America plc
  110. How Do You Like Them Appalacians?
  111. How I Filled The Hole In My Life Left By My Dead Dog
  112. How Long Does It Take To Grow A Beard?
  113. How Stephane Henchoz Got His Cheeks
  114. How To Evolve
  115. How To Lose Friends And Compound People's Grief
  116. How To Make Friends And Influence People
  117. Huk
  118. Hunker Down Pillows
  119. I
  120. If I Had My Way I'd Be Frank Sinatra
  121. If In Doubt Sit On Monty
  122. If You're Going To Be Silly You Can Go Outside
  123. If You Sniff A Woman's Pantyliners While She's Wearing Them, She's Liable To Ask Questions
  124. Ig2
  125. I Have Eaten My Elbow But Only Because You Asked Me To
  126. Illegal Dutch Porn... Or Is It?
  127. I'll Wait If It's Tonight
  128. I'm Not Using The Toe Ember Bit After All
  129. I'm Not Well
  130. Imperfect
  131. I'm Sick Of Cyclical, But Short Of Getting One Leg Longer Than The Other, There's Nothing I Can Do About It
  132. I'm Worried That The Geniuses Are In Confederacy
  133. In Memoriam: The Competitive Fat Man
  134. Inspired By Kittens
  135. Is Death All It's Cracked Up To Be?
  136. Is It Something Like This?
  137. I Think It Was
  138. It's A Cheese Thing, You Wouldn't Understand
  139. It's All The Same
  140. It's A Mossy Chine, How Much More Freudian Do You Want?
  141. It's A Mr. Death Or Something. He's Come About The Reaping
  142. It's Like The Amputation But Less Abrupt
  143. It's Nooo Problem
  144. It's Not Supposed To Be Sexual, Really It Isn't
  145. I Wish To Register A Complaint [Applause And Polite Laughter]
  146. J
  147. Jesus' 2002 Vision
  148. Jesus Hates Liars
  149. Jimmy Hoffa's Buried In My Prostate But The Eggs Aren't Over Easy
  150. Jonas 'Culpability' Brown
  151. K
  152. Kill Few
  153. L
  154. Lagniappe Sauregurkenzeit
  155. LA Needs You
  156. Lazy Summer
  157. The Lead Deal
  158. Lemon Aromatherapy Candles
  159. Let's Bomb Mexico
  160. Licking The Back Of Your Neck
  161. Like I Care
  162. Love
  163. Love And Death Combined
  164. Lumpy Joe
  165. M
  166. Mains, Manes, May'nes
  167. Manusc Hermiermies
  168. Master Rhino's Cold Dust
  169. Meaning Of Life: Be
  170. Mein SCUM Manifesto (Notes)
  171. The Menstruation Proclamation
  172. Middle
  173. Mirrored Windows
  174. Missive From The Underground
  175. Mite
  176. Mith, Mith, I Thmathed The Moth Mythth, Mith
  177. Mocking A(nother) Serious Disease
  178. Monkey Disease Parahraphs
  179. Mossul Not Mostul
  180. Mr. Coprolophagus
  181. Mutation Or Metamorphosis
  182. My Bad Mood And Anal Fixation
  183. My Daughter Is A Typo
  184. My Mother
  185. N
  186. Nasty Shaving Accident
  187. No Porn Please, We're About To Be Paid
  188. Not Emailing - Tension - Masturbation - Porn On My Mind - I Write What I Think - It's Your Fault - Oooh 100
  189. Nothing To Get Hung About
  190. Not One Joke About STDs
  191. Not Particularly Good, But It's About Nudity
  192. Now Entering My Road Period
  193. Nuclear Bunkers And Scuba Porn
  194. O
  195. Ode To A Retarded Retard
  196. [OE (Anglian) all, (WSax eall); Ger all] [OE yfel; Du euvel; Ger übel; cf ill]
  197. Off To The Side A Bit
  198. Oh, The Agony Of It All
  199. The Online Biscuit Game
  200. Ook
  201. Orgasms Discussed Dully
  202. Osteobreakology
  203. Our Seasonal Range
  204. P
  205. The Parable Of Jesus And The Fishy Curtains Tit Fight
  206. Paralysis D'Accord Rally
  207. Partay Games
  208. Pasta And Pesto
  209. Pastor Of Muppets
  210. Peaching To The Convicted
  211. Personal Correspondence
  212. Personality Rating 2/5
  213. Playing With My Penis
  214. Plea
  215. Poetry (I Must Be Gay) And Cults
  216. Pope, Lobster: Bad Combination
  217. Postcard From The Edge
  218. Praise Where Praise Is Due
  219. Press Release
  220. Primary School Teachers On Coke
  221. Proud To Be Continent
  222. Proustian Diatribe
  223. Public Transport
  224. Q
  225. Quick Note
  226. Quidquid Luce Fuit, Tenebris Agit
  227. Quit While You're Sweaty
  228. Quixotic Cruelty
  229. R
  230. Rivers The Thief
  231. S
  232. Save My Dead Spy
  233. Scab
  234. Scout Daze
  235. Scrotal Verrucas (Been Kicked Too Many Times)
  236. Seeds
  237. Seeing It Out
  238. Self-centred Bitch
  239. Serendipity McLeish: Window Diver
  240. Seven Facts About M.I.T. That You Probably Didn't Know Because I Just Made Them Up
  241. Skin Flick
  242. Sleep Shit
  243. A Small Tomato Juice And A Large Vodka Please
  244. Sneeze Damnit, I'm Looking Like An Arse
  245. Some Notice Thing
  246. Some Shit About Falling On To A Radiator
  247. So So Cold
  248. Soup Horny Solly
  249. Space Filler
  250. Steve Loves Me
  251. Stick That In Your Locum And Smoke It
  252. The Story of My Experiments With Grass
  253. The Story Of My Experiments With Grass. Addendum
  254. Strobe
  255. Stuff About Stuff
  256. Sublime Vicissitude
  257. Sucky Again. I Was Constrained
  258. Swap It For A Tiny
  259. Synopsis
  260. T
  261. Take Two Of These
  262. Thanks For The Postcard
  263. That Woodpecker Snot Thing With The Trees And Wisconsin
  264. "There's No Such Thing As Paranoia." - FX Leach
  265. These People
  266. This Crazy Planet We Call Bob
  267. The Threat Of Childhood or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Womb
  268. Tip Over
  269. Tra-La-Gedy-La
  270. Try Not To Cry On Your Keyboard
  271. Tuna
  272. Turtle Soup
  273. Twelce
  274. Two Claspy Clasp Things And A Necklace Bone
  275. U
  276. The United States Of Punmerica
  277. United We Stand, Splattered We Drip Down The Walls
  278. Unsubscribe
  279. Untitled Until Someone Comes Up With A Funny Bouncy Castle Porno Name
  280. V
  281. A Vision
  282. ¡Viva Las Marcas Al Revés Del Exlamation!
  283. (vNL) night Renal
  284. W
  285. Wanker
  286. Wanky Wank Thing. Don't Delete, Fuckfork
  287. Warm Puddles Of Love
  288. What Is With... Nah, Too Personal
  289. What's Your Fucking Problem? Can't Maintain An Erection?
  290. Wheelchairs And Bulging Sacks
  291. Wifey Wifey
  292. Wirrasthru
  293. Wish It All Away
  294. X
  295. XXX Celebrity Bankjob
  296. Y
  297. Yes I Fucking Can
  298. You Can't Keep A Good Man Down Unless You Keep Kicking Him In The Bollocks Until He's Dead And Aching
  299. You Can't Say That
  300. You Can't Spell Insect Without Using The Same Letters As Incest
  301. Z