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The Adventures Of Cuntly The Goldfish
I'm not sure why but it seems to reach me on so many levels.
Dear Mummy
It's the 'fuckfork' that does it for me.
Tuna
I once touched my eyeball with a compass. Not a round one either, the one with 2 legs, one for holding a pencil and one with a sharp metal bit at the end. Made my head/brain feel quite fuzzy. Probably not worth the fiver now that i think about it.
Pasta And Pesto
If Santa had 32B-36D tits and a nicely shaven vagina, you know I think I might.
Golferk Yourself
Has no significant meaning, it's just plain great. |
Dear Mummy
Fucking inspired fucking genius.
Gun Culture
Postmen should be killed.
That one about killing your dog.
(He means Mutation Or Metamorphosis).
Fuck Off Dilettantes; I Shun You
Oh oh oh I like that one about smashing stuff. Smash motherfuckers, you know you want to. Smash smash smash.
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Dear Mummy
An hilarious and inspirational defence of the word "fuck".
Five Children And A Child Called It
A wonderful and deeply funny satire of David Pelzer.
Erotica
A strange fable of nuns and Nazism.
Children's Story
The adventures of Options, the green-toed pig.
My Daughter Is A Typo
I'm not sure about the daughter, but the "one-legged wife, Eileen" is just, well, just!
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(vNL) night Renal
I dunno if anyone else gets it, or they reckon it's just a bunch of random words and letters, but I reckon it's the best thing I've ever written. I wasn't even drunk when I wrote it.
The Adventures Of Cuntly The Goldfish
A story for children.
Guber Naculum Jr And Dickchain
Biting political satire; not funny, but true. Use of a dictionary will increase your enjoyment.
I'm Not Well
Freakin doctors.
Love
I love love, don't you? |
Hello Wall
This one, this one!!
Diamonds Are Forever
The apocalypse is going to be just like this, mark my words.
Quidquid Luce Fuit, Tenebris Agit
Nothing to say. Read.
A Delayed Attempt To Have A Personality
You'll like this.
Sucky Again. I Was Constrained
Just read this, damn it. (Jail story).
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Gun Culture
Guns are bad, mmkay.
Lemon Aromatherapy Candles
Je voudrais to be un freedom fighter.
Creamy Hand
The apathy of kinky sex.
Press Release
Britney sticks it to Da Man.
The Story Of My Experiments With Grass
An idealised and dreamy plan to feed the world. (Also worth checking out the Addendum when done).
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