FLOWERS AND POEMS

As I deal with the hustle and bustle of this crazy, mixed-up, modern world, one dream provides me with solace. I dream, like most red-blooded males, of being Tao Yüan-ming, the famous poet and chrysanthemum grower of 365-427. Ahhh what a peaceful life it would be: spending all day outside tending to flowers, which really just means waiting for the rain, and now and then jotting down a few words with a metaphor or two, purporting to be a poem. The actuality of the day would involve just sitting outside and reading. What could be more perfect? You may argue that it wouldn't be all that easy. I would argue back - with the last word, I hasten to add - and say both being a chrysanthemum grower and a poet would be as easy as falling asleep on a washing machince. (It's easy. Trust me).

How many chrysanthemum growers do you know? I know one. And he died in the year 427. If you are the only chrysanthemum grower in the world, then you lead the field, you define the field, you are the field. If you say this is a bad year for chrysanthemums, and they're all gonna die, or even if you say that the half dead look is the new style, who is anyone else to argue with you? If they try, kill them, or at least slice their legs in half. So I have to plant a few seeds once a year. So what? I can take time out of my busy day to do that. So I have to water the flowers if it doesn't rain. So what? If it's really that hot, I'm going to want to water myself anyway; it'll take very little effort for me to chuck a bit on the flowers too. So I have to weed from time to time. So what? I'll just reshape my dream and be a famous poet and chrysanthemum and weed grower. See? Piece of piss. Life is beautiful. Being a poet is just as easy. The hard part is being known as a poet, but once you are a poet, you're set for life. In my apple pie daydream, if you'll remember, I already am a famous poet and chrysanthemum grower. I am a poet. If I write words, they are poetry. Argue with me and I'll kill you, or at least make you read the kind of shit that I churn out. Fuck you all. I'm left with a sweet, relaxing life, far far removed from the electronic hum that passes for life nowadays. Sw - as they say - eet.

Wouldn't I be left craving more, though? Isn't that the problem with any hopes and dreams: that something always turns round and bites you on the arse so fucking hard, ripping out a chunk of bleeding flesh? Yeah, perhaps. But then I think what possibly more could I want than peace, quiet, solitude, bad poetry and flowers? What more could I crave? Nothing. What could possibly fuck up this dream? Nothing. It's not like those other flawed dreams that always end up failing through every fault of my own. Now all I need to do is travel back in time, leaping from life to life (but nothing after that) striving to put right what once went wrong. Hoping that there won't be a next leap, and certainly hoping that the next leap won't be the leap home. I want to just close my eyes and lie amongst the chrysanthemums and sleep for days on end. That, to me, is life lived to the full. That is all I want. It shouldn't be too hard.