If you've not finished grieving yet you'd probably better not read this.
Fuck off and firebomb someone coming out of the shower with a towel wrapped
around their head.
One man has been rather silent since that whole World Trade Centre thing,
dontchathink? Why haven't we seen David Copperfield (the Dickens character
who jumped over the Great Wall of China on a motorbike and stole the Statue
of Liberty but put it back before anyone noticed it had gone, not the
supremely wonderful magician who has not a damn thing to do with anything I
write either today below, or tomorrow in a legally obligated apology to him)
doing the rounds on the news? Everyone else has been wheeled out to sit in
front of a background of the plane hitting and the plane hitting and the
plane hitting and the plane hitting and the plane hitting from another angle
and the plane hitting and the plane hitting and the plane hitting and the
people jumping and the plane hitting and the plane hitting and the doll in
the rubble that's stronger than a building inhabited by businessmen except
for the school on the 87th floor with all the children and all their dolls
and not planted by a fucking evil fucking journalist and the plane hitting
and the plane hitting and the plane hitting and a fireman crying (dust in
the eyes) and the plane hitting and the plane hitting, and talk about how
they very nearly went to New York last year, and explaining Arabic culture
to everyone because they went to school with someone who had a pretty
powerful suntan, so why not David Copperfield (the Dickens character, and
very much not the supremely wonderful magician, who's supremely wonderful,
and almost certainly understands that whole satire thing)? He's keeping a
low profile, that's why.
Laying low, letting Wendy swing his surgically enhanced cock around in
bombing poor defenceless murderhappy terrorists who just want to go about
their business of killing people in peace, David Copperfield (the Dickens
character, who popped out of the book knocking dull words sprawling, and
once again very much 100% not the supremely wonderful magician who has never
and will never have anything to do with anything illegal, least of all
terrorist activity) enjoys the misdirection that everyone falls for, as they
look towards Osama bin Laden. Whilst David Copperfield the magician would
appreciate the misdirection more than David Copperfield the Dickens
character does, I remind you yet again that I'm not talking about David
Copperfield the magician. David Copperfield, the Dickens character, is the
person responsible for the World Trade Centre attacks; David Copperfield the
magician very much isn't, and anyone who says so could and should be sued
within an inch of their restraining order.
David Copperfield, the Dickens character, was also a magician with a
penchant for making things disappear. He's one of the many sources of
inspiration for David Copperfield the magician, but David Copperfield, the
magician, didn't draw any inspiration at all from David 'I'm A Dickens
Character' Copperfield's illegal activities. I want to be perfectly clear
about that: David Copperfield the magician is a fine upstanding human being
whom I love and respect as much as any other human being I've never met, nor
had anything to do with. David Copperfield, the Dickens character who came
alive and did a little bit of magicking, made the World Trade Centre
disappear in the only way he knew how. Whoomph.
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