It seemed the right thing to do, to sit on the kitchen table with the cutlery drawer beside him, swallowing each cutle whole. It wasn't. She, a cross and big-titted woman at the best of times, politely asked for her best cutlery back. He was unable to return it for a day or two. She wondered what they'd eat supper with that evening. He explained that they could use their fingers, and that he'd used his fingers when eating her best cutlery. She became exasperated and opened up another packet of knives and forks to refill the cutlery drawer. He ate them too, and the drawer. She bit his thumb off. He stopped the blood.
Determined that being eaten wouldn't damage her best cutlery, she made him chew and swallow a brick, so that the brick dust would stop the cutlery from rusting inside him. He tried to point out that both her best and second best cutlery were plastic and wouldn't rust. She threw the brick at his mouth, warning him that he'd be better off opening his mouth and chewing. He reacted too slowly and bled further. She picked up the brick and made him eat it.
Fearing infection, she poured plenty salt on the table and rolled his thumb stub and brickhit face around, making sure the blood soaked up all the grains. He complained about the pain. She explained it was for his own good, and that her smile was an involuntary muscle spasm. He explained his slap was also an involuntary muscle spasm. They traded muscle spasms for a minute or two.
Somewhere along the line the brick had been put in his mouth and chewed semi-(non-)voluntarily. He forgot to swallow. She forgot to remind him to swallow. He didn't swallow and all the brick dust congealed in his mouth, causing all sorts of swallowing, breathing and choking problems. She was unsympathetic to someone who had been too busy trading muscle spasms and complaining about being dipped in salt to remember to swallow. He turned blue and fell to the floor. She jumped on his belly, feeling a twinge of sympathy and a desire to jump on him. He spat out a soggy brick and a plastic teaspoon. She continued to jump until she had her cutlery back. He bruised easily.