We're kind of fucked. Ish. An icebreaker was taking scientists to the north pole. It did its job and broke the ice. Small cracks in the ice became big cracks in the ice. Great chunks of ice broke off, smashing into other bits of ice, creating smaller cracks elsewhere, which became bigger cracks, which caused more ice to break off and smash into other bits of ice, creating more cracks. An awful lot of creaking and banging and the polar ice cap was nothing more than billions of ice cube sized cubes of ice, all bashing about crashing into each other and getting knocked off in every direction. When you're up norf, every direction is down, and down is where the warmth is. Heyulp, heyulp, we're all going to drown.
...Ooh we're still alive, and not even very wet. Nice. It seems that the gelatine content of the polar ice cap was far higher than anyone previously imagined. Seventy to eighty percent, apparently. You'd have thought with all those scientists up there doing experiments, at least one of them would have tested the ice for something once ever, but they didn't. Lazy fucks. Lazy fucks ain't got no idea why it's all gelatine either. Had they tested it years ago, some theory would have presented itself by now. Why won't science learn that if they embraced creationism's lies, they'd have to worry far less about proof and could wank about all the time having fun?
Down went the gelatinous ice cubes to the warm bits. Up popped a new polar ice cap made of water, cos it's still plenty cold up at the top bit. It's not all full and big yet, but give it time. The melted gelatinous ice cubes may have all been going off in all the down directions, but they quickly got dragged along with the currents, creating one giant gelatine slick. Dissolve dissolve, mix mix, bigger bigger, thinner thinner.
Ain't no problem with all the water levels rising and people drowning cos the gelatine floats around on the top. The rhythmic waves can't burst through, as the gelatine has formed around its motion, providing strength where strength is needed. (It sounds like bollocks to me, but it also sounds quite good). Any fishy animal things trying to break through at random points can get through no worries. A couple of bottle nosed dolphins have been spotted having trouble, and having to take run ups, but they've popped through eventually. It is suspected that when the slick reaches areas populated with flying fish, they may skim across the surface a few times after breaking through, but the gelatine is spreading out and getting thinner all the time, so it shouldn't be a problem.
Creationists have calculated that once the gelatine spreads to cover the whole of the world's oceans, it will still hold the rhythmic waves, so there won't be any major flood thang. They reckon it's gonna be a bit annoying to have all that gelatine around though, and that we should probably do something about it. Shooting it off into space or rolling it all up and sending it back to the north pole have been the two best suggestions so far. Making carpets out of it and asking to borrow a pen from it have been the worst.