Fuck you, you gimpsucking, scatmunching, donkeyfelcher. What the fuck do you think you're doing? Who the fuck do you think you are with your swinging, shaking, moving and making? Is that some kind of new thing that they teach retards so they can be fully functioning members of society? Do they send you out in to the big wide world with your little bit of new knowledge, £5.76, and a list of the local sluts who will fuck you despite your looks? I hear that the slut you fucked once had two 70 year old guys with weeping sores on their wrinkly, shrivelled pricks fuck her arsehole at the same time, while she went down on a stray dog for their amusement. Does that make you feel special that she chose to fuck you? Can you taste them all in your mouth? Nice, isn't it? What the fuck did you do it for you illiterate, impotent, snakefisting scutpuffer? Is it cos she reminded you of your long lost uncle who used to sit you on his lap and jiggle you up and down until he had soaked your brand new clothes, or is it just cos you felt bored and needed something to do? Where's your so-called philosophical dichotomy on love now, you pseudo-transcendental, misogynist, ersatz pussy? Yes I fucking know it makes no fucking sense, that's why I fucking said it. To see if you're fucking paying attention. And just cos you're pretending to listen now, doesn't mean you're all forgiven and peachy white. You are pretty fucking far from forgiven. Know what I want to do to you? I want to bounce your face off my knee. Just take your head in my hands, and drop it onto my upcoming knee, smashing your nose, and drenching your face with blood. You know what I want to do after that? Bounce your fucking face off my knee again, you haemorrhoidal fuckpuppet. Oh you like that do you? You think that's soooooo fucking funny? Well fuck you, spunkgargler. Wanna know what I was doing while you were fucking that rancid slut? I was fucking your dead grandpappy in the arse with a courgette. Sideways. Twice. With a fucking cherry on top. Yes I fucking know he was cremated, what do you think I am, some kind of fucking moron? I went out and ate a half-raw curry, then a couple of hours later I squatted over the urn with his ashes and squirted my watery, fetid, mushy diarrhoea straight into your dead grandpappy's ashes. Then I got your little sister (just by saying "please") to mix it all up with her tongue and mould your rehydrated grandpappy into a reasonable facsimile of his 'alive' facade. It was then that I fucked him in the arse with a courgette. Sideways. Twice. Happy now, you fucking retard? Know what I'd do to you next? Course you fucking don't, cos you're a fucking retard with no fucking clue about any fucking thing. Pubeflosser. I'd (apologies for breaking the flow, but here we start to impose gender identity. I'm going with the male, cos it seems to work better, but do feel free to substitute 'breasts' for 'penis', or anything else you may have in your store cupboard. And apologies to any transsexuals, hermaphrodites, men with breasts, or women with exceptionally large clitorises: just because penis and breasts are interchangeable, doesn't mean both need to be used; any excess hatred you may feel coming your way is not specifically directed at you, ok?) burn all your fucking clothes while you're fucking wearing them, then slice round the base of your fucking lizard-like cock with the razor your mother uses to shave her back hair with. I'd peel the skin back - feel the fucking pain, bitch - until you are left with a reverse circumcision, and all the bloodied flesh of your tiny dick is left dripping into your father's gaping mouth below. Then I'd pack the skinless worm with so much fucking salt until you began to resemble normal fucking proportions, before putting the skin back in place, with a zip to repeat the process as and when I so fucking desired. Bitch.