The breast with a mouth for a nipple looked at me with her big brown eyes and said "Do you know how many times the word 'Jesus' appears in the Bible?"
"Five thousand nine hundred and seventy four," I replied, being the sans-savant savant that I am.
"Ah no, you're wrong. The answer is none. The word 'Jesus' doesn't appear in the Bible at all. Do you want to know why?"
"Not really."
"Oh ok. Want a fight then?"
"Yeah, go on then."
I led with a left and a right, she countered with a left and a left, then a jab with a left, a hook with the left, and a big uppercut with the left. She tried to fight dirty and bite me, but breasts with mouths don't have teeth, so she just sucked at me a bit, and gave me an idea for later. I grabbed her and wrestled her to the ground.
"Mmmff... ah fuck that hurts. No fucking fish-hooking, you cunt," she mumbled a little too clearly for someone being fish-hooked.
"It's not a fish hook, it's a curtain hook," I replied. I still think her mumbling was too clear for someone being curtain-hooked.
"Mmmff..."(She wasn't fooling anyone now). "Well, it tastes of fish. Have you got fishy curtains or something?"
"What am I supposed to say to that?" I asked, stamping her into the gravel that I'd dropped on to the carpet, but not told you about, just before I'd wrestled her to ground. "Is fishy curtains supposed to be some vagina reference, cos if it is, it's neither funny nor true."
"Oh good lord no," she replied, shocked at the offence she'd caused. "I'm shocked at the offence I've caused you. I didn't mean to cause you any offence, and I'm shocked that you think I did. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to imply that you had a vagina that smelled of fish. You were fish-hooking me, y'see, still are in fact (mmff...)." Actually I was stamping her into the gravel, but it was her continuity error to make, not mine. "...and when I told you fish-hooking wasn't allowed you said it was a curtain hook, trying to make out that I thought you were fish-hooking me with an actual fish hook, but it was an actual curtain hook rather than an actual fish hook. I then turned the tables back on you by saying your supposed curtain hook smelled of fish, which is why I initially imagined it to be a real fish hook. I'm not sure which of us was trying to be funny, but as I'm inherently funny, being a breast with a mouth instead of a nipple, I'll let you have this one, on condition you don't explain what fish-hooking is, to let the wrestling retards feel smugly superior to the poor pitiful fools who look down on them for being wrestling retards."
"...Well, ok, apology accepted. I still think you were making fun of my vagina, but you've concocted a suitably believable chain of events that I'll have no legal recourse. I can fight you though, and beat you down like a little bitch."
"I'd like that."
I led with the left and right yet again, she countered with a left and a left, as before. Expecting her to be as limited as I was, I blocked for a a left jab, hook and uppercut, but she pulled off the tricky button combination for a spinning piledriver. I died. Umm... but not before writing this. Or I wrote it in heaven, or Jesus who didn't have to waste his time occurring in the Bible wrote it for me, or something. Fuck knows.