WHICH WEIRDLIST CHARACTER ARE YOU?

Sniff yourself. How would you describe that musky odour?

Blood and glass
Burning atheists and oppression
Dust and books
Kelp and pulleys
Sand and bruises
Semen and burglars
Shit and chlorophyll
Spit and lace
Sugar and trees
Tears and halitosis

What makes you happier than Jesus?

Approval of others
Being amongst nature
Being right
Food
Gallivanting
A kiss
People feeling sorry for you
Power
Sex
Violence, and lots of it

Pick a song, any song.

Across The Pond - Albert Christmas Squirrel
Adagio Of Spartacus And Phrygia - Khatchaturian
The Calendar Hung Itself - Bright Eyes
Expedestrians - Wilt
Jesus On The Payroll - Thrashing Doves
Love Spreads - Stone Roses
Parabola - Tool
Showdown - Propagandhi
Underachiever - Pitchshifter
Wicked Games - Chris Isaak

Which best describes your last experience with testicles, whether they be yours or someone else's?

I have never touched testicles
A sneaky scratch when no-one was looking, or the owner of the testicles wasn't paying attention
I touched at least one testicle earlier today
I'm touching some now
I try to avoid them as much as possible
I kicked someone's, or someone kicked mine
Nuzzling. Plenty of nuzzling
Testicles are sinful, even when empty
Someone done gone frotted all over me on the bus
Doctor, I've got a rash

Snack time. What are you having?

A burger
Cheese and crackers
Chocolate mousse
Fruit
Just a glass of water, please
A large slice of roast pork
Leftovers
Rice
A sandwich
Something sugary

Which sound is most unpleasant?

Arguments
Bad music
Crying
Glass breaking
Hacking coughs
Knuckles cracking
Miscellaneous grinding
Silence
Talking
Untraceable creaking

Which is your favourite computer game?

Civilisation
Championship Manager
Crash Team Racing
Freecell
Goldeneye
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
Sam and Max Hit The Road
Super Mario Something Or Other
Tekken
Zoo Tycoon

What scares you most?

Closed spaces
Clowns
Dying
Governments
Heights
Life
Open spaces
Snakes
Spiders
Truth

What do you want to drink?

Brandy
Chocolate vodka
Gin
Guinness
Herb tea
Lager
Orange juice
Water
Whisky
Wine

Which other Weirdlist character gives you the 'orn?

Fatty Gelatty
Lagniappe Sauregurkenzeit
Manusc Hermiermies
Mason Detra
Moose
Mosey Q Abernac III
Premonition O'Ballintheface
Testtube de Blueink
Tzimmes Stilton
Vulvic Humping