THAT film star in THAT dress (just a tiddlywink covering her clitoris) was shot late last night by policeman or policemen unknown in an apparently motiveless act of senseless and funny violence. The bullet tore through THAT neck of THAT actress in THAT tiddlywink on the clitoris; the bullet was then caught by a particularly strong gust of wind, moved diagonally down and to the left, was caught by a further gust of wind taking it back to the right, passed through THAT wrist of THAT innocent bystander (although you can see in frame 232 that he is still holding his hat comfortably), made a left turn and entered THAT belly button of THAT same innocent bystander.
THAT actress in THAT dress collapsed pumping blood, and THAT dress (tiddlywink) rucked up, leaving THOSE photographers to photograph THAT as another passer-by tried desperately to stem the flow of blood by ripping off THAT t-shirt and tying it tightly around THAT holey neck. I think THAT passer-by might have been called Basilcat, but I couldn't be sure - and if you understand THAT, then I'm proud to know you. THAT orange face of THAT movie star in THAT tiddlywink - and if you don't know what a tiddlywink is then there's something wrong with the way you've been raised - turned to blue masked by orange. She died I think, or she might have lived, but I don't suppose it really matters when the photographers managed to get a photo of THAT dress rucking up.
While all THAT was going on, in the background a large metal spike covered with a clotting agent had risen rapidly from the pavement, imbedded itself in THAT innocent bystander, driving itself up THAT spinal cord, locking him in a perfectly vertical position and doing more for his posture than THAT futon ever did. THAT bullet hit all THAT undigested chewing gum and rancid meat in his colon, ricocheted straight up and out of the top of his head, forming a beautiful fountain of blood. THAT blue bellybutton fluff mixed with THAT rancid meat and chewing gum and was driven out of THAT hole in THAT bellybutton, clogging it up and preventing any further blood loss that way. As THAT bullet ran out of propulsion, it plummeted back down to THAT earth, and danced atop THAT fountain of blood. Eight pints later the bullet fell back into the hole from whence it came.
And the moral of THAT story: don't walk behind THAT film actress when she's wearing THAT dress cos you'll get shot and all sorts of nasty things will happen to you. The secondary moral is that you shouldn't swallow chewing gum unless you want it to clog up THAT belly button when you're shot. The tertiary moral is that if you're caught in a triangulation of crossfire, make for THAT hypotenuse as quickly as possible. Any further morals beyond that are completely coincidental and unintentional, and certainly don't concern plots - evil or otherwise - for world domination, and you can quote me on that.