Hi. What's up? Not a bland request as to your thoughts and emotions, but a genuine enquiry as to what is above. Sky, they say. Clouds. Non-taxiing aeroplanes. I hear some people can jump quite high, so in relation to things that aren't up, they may be construed as up. Speaking of things that are up, rumours abund about of influential personages with appendages who free the slaves at 75,000 ft, so they are up, and depending on how quickly you read this after I write it, there may be one or two slaves who caught an updraft and are floating somewhere over the dead body of slaves who didn't catch an updraft.
Did I ever tell you the story of the woman who was up for it, but then came down and felt all descended? 'Tis a sad tale that I recount, and one that might move you to tears. In the unlikely event that you are up - perhaps in a a plane or a tall bullying - then please read no further: water falling from a great height can be fatal, especially if it's allowed to enter the lungs in vast quantities, or if it's mixed with dehydrated bullet mix and shot at faces rapidly. This 'tis also the reason for rain not being considered up: it's not up, or rain-related deaths would be higher. As it is, rain is down, along with the descended woman (like a testicle).
What goes up must come down is what the ever-eloquent 'they' say. Not true. Bunkum (the loner lawyer). Back in the mid to late 40s, something went up and never came down again, and do you know what that was? The National Health Service, that's what. Went up. Still up. There, that's stuck you to your guns with superglue and not-so-super glue, then realising that the not-so-super stuff is, as it claims to be, not-so-super, and you're going to have to rely on the super stuff, which luckily was in use before the not-so-super stuff. Something else that went up and stayed up was something lighter than air, that didn't disperse into the atmosphere. 1-0 to truth and justice, methinks.
Up eh? Up? Up? Tsk. Crazy name, crazy guy. Try saying it over and over to yourself, now, follow orders. Do it. Say it. Up, up, up. Keep on. Keep saying it. Mumble. Say it quietly. Mantrate. Say it. Up up. Speak clearer now: up up up. Drop the commas. Up up up up. Speak more forcefully now. Up up up. Take it up a notch: upupupupup. No spaces, just up. All that exists now is up, nothing else, no you, no me, no them, just up. Upupupupupup. Repeat it. Repeat. Upupupupup. Speak to the up. Speak. Be. Breathe. Upupupupup. You feel the up within you? Upupupupup. You and the up are one. You are up. You cease to exist, all that is is up. Up is up. Drop the is. Up up. Drop the spaces as you (up) did before. Upupupupup. Do you see where to go from here? Upupupupup. Now take a long, hard look at yourself; you look pretty darn foolish.