I have written a book. It is really good. Publish it. It has a man in it and
it has a woman in it, and they have a dog too. The man is me, and the woman
is someone who I kissed once, and the dog isn't anyone because this is
fiction and you have to make stuff up. One day the man wakes up and has sex
with the woman and they kiss, and it's really good and they're in love.
Neither the man or the woman work because they're both rich and happy, but
then something happens and they're not so happy, and it's pretty good to
read, although if it were real it would be a bit sad. It is a rollercoaster
of emotions from happy to sad. It's really good. The woman goes away and
this makes the man unhappy, and the dog dies because the man has to go and
do other stuff and forgets to feed the dog, and the man has a best friend
and he knows exactly how to help the man, and the man and his best friend go
to get the woman back so that the man and the woman can have sex and kiss in
the morning and they can get a new dog, a puppy, that they can name after
the first dog, and the best friend dies, and the man says "Why God? Why?"
and the man and the woman go home to the pet shop to buy a dog and kiss.
It is set in the present day, and the man has the same name as me, and he
lives in the same town I do. The woman has almost the same name as the
person who kissed me once, but I changed one letter because this is fiction
and you have to make stuff up. I haven't thought of a name for the dog or
the best friend yet, but they die so it doesn't really matter, but I will
call them Tim and Tom if you think they need a name, because those are good
names. I have written it all apart from the bit where the woman runs away
and the man and his best friend go and get her back, and I will write that
very soon, but I don't want to write it now because it's a bit hard and I'd
rather just sit and make sure you're going to publish it before I write it.
It's set in the present day, because in the very first chapter I say "The
Present Day" so people know when it's set and they don't think it has lots
of pirates or aliens or Henry VIII. It is written really well because I
wrote it, and I wrote it really well. You'd really like it. It's good. It
has humour and semi-colons in it because at one bit I make the man say "Oh
look, it's a door," and the best friend says "No it's not a door, it's a
packet of sweets. You must have been joking me," and the man says "I was
joking you" and everyone has a good laugh about it, and when they're
laughing someone says something with a semi-colon which means I'm a good
writer and I can use semi-colons.
It explores many themes such as happy, sad, the relationship between man and
woman, the relationship between man and dog, the relationship between woman
and dog, the relationship between man and best friend, the relationship
between woman and man's best friend (not dog), but not the relationship
between dog and man's best friend (also not dog) because they each die
before they meet up in this story although they probably met up before the
story because you don't get to be someone's best friend without meeting
their dog, but that doesn't happen in this story unless it happens after the
dog dies and before the best friend dies in the bit I haven't written yet. I
don't think it will unless you think it will make the book more markateble
(sp?). When I write the middle bit it will be about 200 pages long, but
these are pages on my computer, and I think my font might be bigger than
your font, so it might be less on your computer, so let me know if you don't
think it is enough because I have not written the middle bit yet and I can
make it a bit longer and put a birthday party in it and everyone can pretend
to be happy and eat cake, and that will be really good and the people who
read the book will say "I can really understand the characters because I had
a birthday party and I ate cake and it was really nice" and they will want
to buy the book. The end.