THANKS FOR THE POSTCARD

I know nothing. What I don't know today is Los Angeles. There's a road in Los Angeles, a road, a real road with cars and everything; instead of carrying on straight, straight, it leans off to one side like a presidential erection before it became too noticeable. Cool huh? There is no reason for the bend, no reason at all, it's just there. Ignore the big kink around the big lake, fly left as you look towards all the big shit. See that big road? That's the one. Follow it along and it'll turn. Impressed? Empressed. It's a road. It turns a little bit. Don't you get it? There's no earthly reason, no fucking reason, fuck fuck no reason, fuck reason, fuck it big, no reason. No reason at all for this road to turn and yet it turns. LA. L fucking A with a meaningless turning road. You don't find that beautiful? I really have got to get you to love the meaningless.

Either side are pissy little buildings, pissy things that could be bulldozed, meaningless buildings filled with meaningless people living and working their way through their meaningless lives, and they're on a street that turns. This street, road, big fucking highway - two lanes each way - doesn't need to turn, really it doesn't. Bulldoze through the pissy, build the road straight, look straight into the heart of LA from all the way out in Arizona. Comb a big line down the middle of America, stretch this road biig, set up a powerful telescope at either end and charge the tourists ten bucks a pop, or a quarter to look. That's what LA would do if it really were the soulfree anus that we've been told it is. It doesn't, it isn't.

You can view it two ways: LA making a token gesture to appease the delicious, or LA accentuating this bent prank by building its big brick saltlick mentality around it. Now, you know me, ever the optimist, pissing on pessimism. Negativity? That's a nugatory, good buddy. No token gesture, I have decreed so. Shallowness is allowed because there's a joke to not be got. LA is beautiful. LA knows the new meaning of life (be meaningless, reasonless, aimless. This is a step back from the more holistic 'be' but I've been watching, and some of you haven't been 'be'ing right; it's a right, not a privilege, and as the one with all the power today, I'm taking something from you and burning it).

What's the point in meaning? Really. It's the philosophical question for today. Think if you like that sort of thing. If you don't think you're only gonna get my answer, and I only came up with it because I can't chew a plastic cork for too long before my jaw aches. "Don't be meaningless; that way lies anarchy." No. That way lies meaninglessness. Meaningless can't exist without meaning, true; LA has its shallow meaning around its beautiful meaninglessness, and you, dear self-helped-by-me one should do likewise. Be the meaningless (meaningful) person you are, do everything the same, be whatever you were being, but you take hold of your big real road with cars and everything, and you make sure it has a meaningless lean to it.