Impotence, the silent killer, so named not because it kills silently, but because the unmitigated fascists at the poster department don't let you use the word 'penis'. And anyway, people don't sympathise unless there's death or a close relative of a celebrity. Show a little compassion: this silent killer affects all of us at some time in our lives, as long as we're a post-pre-pubescent man whose penis stays softer than cottage cheese. I'm strictly an extra mature, extra hard, extra non-impotent man; I'm mocking other people, not myself. If I was impotent I'd say so, but I'm not so stop saying that I am.
The first cause of impotence is known amongst doctors as 'Not Being A Real Man'. This affects people who aren't real men. Reproduction is your destiny; if you can't get it up to get it in to get it out, then you might as well just die or something. Oh sure there are creams, vacuums, pills and needles, but every time you look into your son or daughter's eyes you'd hear the quartet of sexual aids mentioned previously in this sentence screaming back at you. Oh sure, this sordid little quartet would be speaking using your son's or daughter's mouth, words, face, and all that stuff, and wouldn't resemble those four things, but deep down they'd resemble them, if only in the damaged recesses of your brain. What I'm trying to say is your progeny would be part human, part erection aid. Imagine breaking the news: "Son and/or daughter, Daddy couldn't get an erection so you wouldn't be here if I didn't hang weights from my penis and coat it with superglue. I still love you though."
Although women aren't real men, their lack of penises in all but the drunkest of cases precludes them from being classed as impotent. "But Skippy, why would people want to be classed as impotent?" Skippy's dead; I speak the truth now. Tax purposes. Now women can fuck off: we're talking about impotence, not woman stuff.
Women are the second and final cause of impotence. Men have more control over their penis than they let on. If you're having sex with an impotent man and he's a real man then it's your fault for being ugly. Look at yourself; would you fuck you? Be still my beating erection. And women and gay men are the same, or so the story goes. The stereotypes about gay men having great fashion sense and above average personal grooming habits have become embedded in psyches for a reason: c'est true. Every single gay man who ever lived has great fashion sense and above average personal grooming habits for a reason: they know impotence can be faked in the event of diminished attraction. Now take your new-found knowledge and apply it to lesbians.
Conclusions: impotence is everyone's fault but mine; I hate everyone - especially you - with the exception of lesbians with nice breasts who fuck guys.